Matthew Newton was too good in that role…

Miranda Otto in Boy Gets Girl

Five years ago I took myself off to the theatre to watch the worst fears of every modern girl who has ever dabbled with internet-dating.

Those fears were played out by Matthew Newton and Miranda Otto in Boy Gets Girl.

In hindsight I feel that Newton was a little too good in his role as a deluded, abusive stalker who becomes obsessed with a woman he has one blind date with.

As the story goes, in Rebecca Gilman’s thriller,  the female protagonist decides she doesn’t want to see him again.

But Newton’s character feels otherwise, and proceeds to do a little research to uncover where his date lives and works as well as her phone numbers.

His fixation  starts out with him sending unwelcome bunches of ‘her favourite’ flowers, and ends up with him leaving an insane number of threatening phone messages, lurking outside her apartment, and breaking in to ransack her house.

Why? Because he desperately wants to be near to her; yet quickly begins to turn and express anger towards her because his infatuation is unrequited.

Now, anyone who knows how to use google, yellow pages, Linked In, Facebook, Foursquare and Twitter – would find that exercise a piece of cake in 2010. Something that does not sit well with me.

Boy Gets Girl put me inside the mind of a stalker and showed me what I didn’t understand. The graduation of a person’s logic. The thinking that takes them from harmless first date material, to psychotic obsessiveness.

It showed me the ‘logic’ that a stalker applies, or, possibly the logic of a person with Borderline Personality Disorder .

Today Matthew Newton agreed to a two-year apprehended violence order which requires him not to stalk, intimidate or harass his former girlfriend Rachael Taylor…

… a little to close to the play for my liking.

Some may ask; surely it was just a lovers tiff? After all he wanted to marry the girl? She must have done something to provoke his jealousy, violence, passionate rage?

But the clear answer to that sort of speculation is no. And I can’t repeat it enough times. 

Like many women in an abusive situation, Otto’s character starts to question herself when her date first shows signs of being ‘strange’.

Matthew Newton

“Maybe Tony subscribes to the old-fashioned boy-gets-girl, boy-loses- girl, boy-gets-girl-back, school of thought”.

After all – that sounds like something inspired by a harmless evening with WSFM?

“I can’t live if living is without you… If you leave me – can I come to… Nothing compares to you…”

Maybe. But not exactly a healthy way of thinking.

I occasionally go to Buddhist class. In one particular session love  was defined.

Love, is simply a wish for someone to be happy. Respecting what makes them happy.

Love is not; attachment, expectation, infatuation.

Matthew Newton’s psychologist mentions his chronic depression time and time again in the media. Now I’m not a psychologist, but I suspect there may be more going on than plain old depression to inspire such abusive behaviour.

So Newton managed to play the part of an abusive stalker. But has he found the time to reflect on his own completely unacceptable behavior over the last ten years now?

In news reports today:

Ms Taylor alleged Newton had physically, verbally and mentally abused her during their eight month relationship

And then there was Brooke Satchwell in 2006…

Matthew Newton got off scot free for hitting former girlfriend Brooke Satchwell four years ago because the judge found that he was a “gentleman” who was unlikely to hit a woman again.

More disturbing to me, was the stupidity of the Otto family in real life when 19 year old Gracie Otto started dating Newton, 29; not long after he’d beaten up Satchwell. His new girlfriend’s mum said ”Matthew is the sweetest, nicest person in the world. He would never hurt a flea.”

Matt Newton & Gracie Otto

The Otto family embraced Newton and invited him to move into their family home with their (did I mention 19 year old) daughter, despite the charges laid against him.

On the other hand, I can only wonder if this is exactly why Gracie was spared the treatment his other girlfriends received?

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